I Am Woman

No surprise: Sex and city II did not receive good reviews. Yet, I liked that movie. Because I get it, and it makes sense to me. There are a few moments that really touched my heart too, for example when Carrie asked Big “are we enough?” and Big’s answer was “we’re too much”. But the significance about this movie is that it all comes down to the idea of being a strong woman. 

“I am strong, I am invincible”, probably the lyric from I Am Woman said it better than anyone else. But how?

To be Honest: after you settle down in a stable relationship, or even after you’re married, you might still be attracted to someone else. This is normal. It takes time, courage, and sometimes even exactly that someone else along the way to make you fully realize how precious your relationship actually is, what you really want, and here your heart belongs. Carrie told Big about the kiss with Eden after all. I guess she wants to be honest with Big, but she needs to be honest with herself.

 

To Trust: if there is ultimately one challenge embedded in any sort of human interactions it is the question of “to trust or not to trust”. And sometimes trust has nothing to do with how long you’ve known a person, or how close you’ve been with him/her. It is not easy for Charlotte, or anyone, to trust her husband with such an attractive (for whatever reason) nanny. And I am sure she is not the only one who has cried behind the doors, or who has sent SMS like crazy while she was away. But the moment she opened the door and was surrounded by her lovely girls and hugged by her excited husband, all the doubts vanished. I guess before trusting anyone else, have the confidence to trust yourself first.

 

To Let Go: this is probably the problem for all capable, successful, beautiful, aggressive women: you want guys to respect you but many guys are intimidated by you; you want guys to take you seriously but many guys (and even other women) simply hate you. Or, they don’t know what to do with you. So they shut you down, they try to block your access to information, and downplay your contribution in every aspect. The result is: either you speak up for yourself and try to initiate changes, or you let go. Miranda was smart enough to start with the first option and end with the latter, and she only thrived more at her next job.

 

To Be Yourself: it takes courage, confidence, a mature attitude, and probably the characters of all the above combined to be Samantha. Oh Samantha, sometimes I wonder what she really wants. Then I realized she wants nobody but herself, she wants nothing but life and to live a life for the purpose of nobody else or nothing else. That is probably why no other girls could ever free themselves from other people’s judgment as completely as she could. You could technically use all kinds of nasty words to describe what Samantha has been doing in all episodes of sex and the city and the movies, but honestly she doesn’t care. She decides her own happiness, how attractive she can be, whom to have sex with, and what to remember or forget.

And if you are really one of a kind like this, how could you not be happy to have 3 other girlfriends who indulge you, accommodate you, appreciate you, and love you for who you are!

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  1. Jing
    June 17, 2010 at 11:07 am

    “capable, successful, beautiful, aggressive women: you want guys to respect you but many guys are intimidated by you; you want guys to take you seriously but many guys (and even other women) simply hate you”

    To comment on this part, there are plenty of guys out there who are not intimidated, do respect, and would prefer a strong and successful woman. I think the problem lies in the fact that at the same time, any respectable, capable, successful man longs to feel valued by his significant other (even these type of women are not all strengths and have certain needs and or weaknesses that are hopefully met or complimented by the men they are attracted to). She must effectively communicate to her man these qualities whatever they may be. I think it can be a powerful combination when both people can come to fully appreciate each others’ accomplishments and leverage each others’ strengths to support and encourage the other.

    • June 17, 2010 at 12:29 pm

      Thanks for your comment Jing and I agree with you 100%. The reason I used the word “intimidated” was because a girlfriend was asking me how to deal with the situation when guys were intimidated by her and she was wondering if that’s the reason why they are not attracted to her.

      I think you probably answered the question better than I did and I totally resonate with you that you can be strong and not intimidating at the same time. For myself personally, I have always been a believer of the combination of “force” and “charm”. (force meaning sometimes you need to give other people a push here and there, but you win them by a charming smile and a kind heart).

  2. Yuqing
    August 28, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    “a girlfriend was asking me how to deal with the situation when guys were intimidated by her and she was wondering if that’s the reason why they are not attracted to her. ”

    Simple reason, these guys are not real guys with mature masculinity. They have no confidence. Why would any woman wants suitors like that?!

    • September 2, 2010 at 2:44 pm

      Confident people are generally more attractive, true. But honestly confidence is not natural to everyone. There are many people in this world who are not confident, or not confident enough, or not as confident as they seem to be. You are lucky if you are one of those who are confident by nature. I cannot blame those who are not confident, I encourage people to learn to be more confident every day, it takes time, but it worths a try. I do blame those who won’t even want to try to be confident though, again that means they are simply lazy…

  3. Yuqing Deng
    October 26, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    Honestly, no one is born to be confident. But confident people tend to have the predisposition to push the limits, to stand in anxiety without flinching. That starts a constructive path. Most people don’t do that. They coil back and never try again. It is the thought process that counts.

    One time a friend of mine got really mad because she thought I was deadly wrong with some historical facts on an Egypian king’s age, yet the tone of my voice showed so much assurance in spite of her strong objection. Another time, in a meeting, I had to tell everyone that our CTO’s idea totally did not work it would be a waste of time following it. It does require me to push myself into
    unfamiliar situations each time but I am willing to go through that.

  1. August 16, 2010 at 8:51 pm

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