Home > Asset Management, Career Advancement, Communication, Job Hunting, Networking > This is the kind of email I WILL respond to!

This is the kind of email I WILL respond to!

Dear Danye,

I came across your profile on linkedIn while going through the ‘Business & Jobs New York’ group, and you came across as a great person to connect with. I am writing to you because I am really interested in joining the XXX Group at XXX Firm and would really appreciate getting some insights from your end. I have been making online applications to this group and nothing has come up so far.

To give you a brief overview of my background; I graduated from XXX College with a bachelors in Economics/computer science, joined XXX Bank prime brokerage group for over a year then XXX’s wealth management as a Client Service analyst for a couple of months. Thereafter I went to graduate school at XXX University where I received my masters in Financial Economics.

I would like to forward you my resume for critique and directives. Kindly let me know if you will be willing to assist me. Your advice and time would be invaluable.

Many thanks and I look forward to hearing from you.

ABC

Of course, this is a very articulate and well-written letter. Now, why do I have an incentive to write back to this person, among all others? Because he/she perfectly answered three big questions in my little head whenever I am reading such letters.

1)      HOW DO YOU KNOW ME AND WHY ME?

Well for sure he read my LinkedIn profile. But more than that, this is a very targeted find. He has been applying to my firm through online applications already, and he is not just interested in my firm but particularly my group.

2)      WHO ARE YOU?

This is not a cover letter but showing your interest alone is not enough, you need to at least briefly mention your background which should naturally lead to the answer why you are interested in contacting me in the first place. Again this is a very targeted profile because this person’s background already fits what we would be looking for in such a position. This is not a place where you write 3 pages about yourself nor your resume where you explain each and every of your positions, but a place to HIGHLIGHT your education and experience that will speak the most about why this position interests you and why I should be interested in learning more about you.

3)      WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO?

I HATE, let me say this again I HATE when someone asks me, can you give me some advice on how to land a job in investment management? OMG, are you expecting me to come up with another list? I don’t know you and this question is simply TOO GENERAL. And believe me, it happens a lot and honestly as soon as I see questions in such general manners, I lost the whole interest in writing back at all.

On the contrary, I have to say I was amazed by the last paragraph of this letter. Note here he never asked “internal referral”, and he never asked “if I have openings in my group”, but these are the things I would have done ANYWAY should I be interested in his profile and character in the first place. The really smart part about this letter is: he mentioned he tried to submit online applications though nothing came up so far, but he didn’t push for anything from my side. All he asked was to look at his resume “for critiques and directives”.

For someone who writes a blog on helping young professionals to excel both at work and after work, how could I reject such an invite?!

That being said, this is NOT an open invitation for all of you to bomb me with your resumes unfortunately, because as much as I want to help everyone, time is limited for both of us. Yet as someone as smart as you are, the least you can do is to learn something from this letter and be more effective with your networking endeavors next time. 

Good luck!

 

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  1. Nicole
    November 23, 2010 at 5:52 pm

    This is extremely helpful! Thanks for posting it 🙂

    • November 23, 2010 at 6:03 pm

      Then I’m glad, good luck 🙂

  2. November 24, 2010 at 6:39 am

    how are you I was luck to seek your Topics in wordpress
    your subject is marvelous
    I obtain much in your subject really thank your very much
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  3. verironic
    November 28, 2010 at 11:29 am

    This is great to know! I think this rule also applies when we need to write emails to alumni/people we met in a networking occasions. However this does look like that linkedin is for people who already has some work related experiences. Is it good for college students as well? (cuz usually college students would have to mention why they are interested in this field and how they seem to fit this without much proof)

    • November 28, 2010 at 3:43 pm

      Hi I’m glad you found this helpful, but I’m under the impression that you’re taking my words too literally. What I meant is you want to briefly mention something that will provoke further interest in the other person so that he/she will actually respond to you. Of course having relevant working experience is a good way to establish this further connection, but if not, then mention something else: if you joined the same club/organization as your alum when he/she was at school, it would be a good idea to mention that. Or if there is something personal about the other person that you noticed and that you share, it usually makes it easier if you mention that too. Does that make sense?

  1. January 5, 2011 at 3:23 pm
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