我羡慕那些时光流逝却未能改变他们的人

Another periodic Chinese blog of mine, in response to a movie based on my very generation, emotionally deep; excuse me if you don’t read Chinese.

“少年的我们，都是热烈而坚持的，那是一种光芒，引人入胜。我羡慕那些时光流逝却未能改变他们的人”
 
——前两天终于看了80后那部电影。不能说每个情节都感同身受，可是很多细节上了东西却仿佛无缘无故的牵扯了我多年没有调动了的敏感神经。这是一部融入了太多感情在里面的片子，让我流泪，在回忆中不知所措，然后一发不可收拾。
 

 

所以我一直很犹豫要不要写这篇文字。爬格子对我来说有时候是一个很痛苦的过程。要么就不写，如果写就需要在沉静中奔放，在压抑中爆发。我总觉得，爬格子是一项只能在深夜才能进行的活动。夜深人静，才可以看透彻自己的心境，等文字终于自然流淌，才终于得以释怀。所以我才一直觉得，写字让我痛苦，却也因此让我沉迷。
 
记得中学的时候读安妮宝贝，看新概念作文，谈论郭敬明。现在想来真的很奇怪，那些根本从来没有在我身上发生过的事情，为什么只是读过就在自己的身体和精神上刻了那么深的烙印。慢慢学会“一半明媚一半忧伤”或者什么“快乐而孤独的等待”还有“爱情仿佛在她心里开出一朵诡异的花”还有那些一切有关长发，阳光，白球鞋的东西。乐此不疲。
 
我们本来都是快乐而简单的小孩子吧。为什么后来我们的文字里有那么多忧伤？
 

My Halloween Night

And then I realized, the best surprise always comes when you least expect it.

How Honest Can You Be?

I watched the Confession of a Go Go Girl last night. It is a story about this girl who started go-go dancing in order to make ends meet, but most lost herself in the “easy money” job and jeopardized her relationship with her family, boyfriend, her acting career, and most importantly, her true self. She managed to get back to her acting classes toward the end of the movie and I want to share this simple but astonishing monologue she did on stage: 

I lied to everyone about everything, expect me.
I say I’m not tired when I am, I say I’m hungry when I’m not, I tell people what they want to hear and never say what I am actually feeling.
I let the lies pile up, like bricks on a wall until I can’t see out and no one else can see in.
I make a plan to escape, I become someone else; Put on a disguise and I climb over the wall and no one recognizes me.
I feel powerful. I can get people to do what I want them to do.
But I go to far. I get lost and I don’t recognize myself.
Take off the disguise, I give away the power.
I give up the control, I retrace my steps, go back to the wall and I take it down brick by brick, I bury them to mark the place.
I strip away all the lies, until there are none left.
I remember the girl I left behind. I claim the confidence i was missing.
I envision the women I want to be, tell everyone the truth about everything, especially you.

 

I have been reading Penelope Trunk’s blog for a while and I have recommended her articles to many of my friends. She is insanely honest and extremely sharing with her insightful and practical advices on networking, job hunting, career and life in general.

I Am Woman

No surprise: Sex and city II did not receive good reviews. Yet, I liked that movie. Because I get it, and it makes sense to me. There are a few moments that really touched my heart too, for example when Carrie asked Big “are we enough?” and Big’s answer was “we’re too much”. But the significance about this movie is that it all comes down to the idea of being a strong woman. 

“I am strong, I am invincible”, probably the lyric from I Am Woman said it better than anyone else. But how?

To be Honest: after you settle down in a stable relationship, or even after you’re married, you might still be attracted to someone else. This is normal. It takes time, courage, and sometimes even exactly that someone else along the way to make you fully realize how precious your relationship actually is, what you really want, and here your heart belongs. Carrie told Big about the kiss with Eden after all. I guess she wants to be honest with Big, but she needs to be honest with herself.

[500 Days of Summer] & All Other Movies

Joseph Gordon-Levitt, 500 Days of Summer 

Justin Long, He’s just not that into you

Rodrigo Santoro, Love Actually

I love these three movies. The obvious reason is: these guys are so cute. Honestly I thought they are all half Asian. But turns out Joe was born in LA and raised as a Jew; Justin was born in Connecticut and raised as a Roman Catholic; and Rodrigo is a Brazilian.

This demonstrates how wrong I can be about people a lot of times. Or again, people see what they want to see: you notice one thing, and you completely ignore everything else. I see them as half Asian because I like them, I want to relate to them, and because I know nothing else about them, I could probably only assume that they are half Asian, which makes me more comfortable liking them.

Believe it or not, people try hard to understand each other. But a lot of times, no matter how hard you try to understand a person, you end up finding a complete stranger. As weird as you are, you couldn’t figure out the other person’s weirdness. There are too many question marks haunting your little mind, so then you freak out, then you want to escape.